Yes, Samuel Adams is better when you drink it from the tap, in Boston. Massachusetts is the most commie lib state in the union! No, this realization has nothing to do with my most recent (only) trip here, it come from all the Bud K, Smoky Mountain Knife Works, and Shotgun News magazines I used to read as a child. I knew a knife or nightstick was cool if it was illegal in Massachusetts. Now that I think about it, that might have just been a marketing ploy by the country of India where all those cheep blades were made. I doubt you can find a true G, a real gangsta, on the street with a genuine ripoff of a Klingon, spring loaded, tri-blade dagger. (Daqtagh) Hmmmm, well, anyway, Massachusetts is liberal.

I went to a Boston pub tonight and ordered a Samuel Adams - always a good decision. Everything was going great until I realized that there was a big sign on the wall that read “This is a non smoking establishment, Massachusetts state law.” I was really jonsing for a clove, too. Anyway, it was ok. I got some food and it was good. The five 32oz. draught Sammies I ordered were good too. Ok, yes, I am a little drunk now, but hey, I’m in Massachusetts. I don’t have to worry about any thugs sneaking up on me with authentic replicas of German Luftwaffe daggers.

Anyway, once again, I come to the conclusion Aristotle came to, after wandering in the desert for 40 years, “no matter how awesome the city is, life sucks if you are alone.” I mean, the gay guy at the bar is fun and all, but you can only talk so long about gold, glossy, glaze paint. (yes Lesbo, I did)

Anyway, right now I am really missing a roommate, coworker, fellow closet anime watcher, hetero-lifemate, friend, or honey biscuit. (yes Joy, that last one was a reference to you…. naked, covered in melted circus peanuts, dancing to the theme song from the 80’s classic movie “The Flight of the Navigator”) OK, I am done complaining, and I am still drunk. I am going to wander around downtown Boston smoking like there is no tomorrow. I will not let the fact that is 36 degrees outside bother me. (even though all I packed were t-shirts) I’m off!

"You know, Rambo 3 is a great example. Al-Qaeda literally means ‘the database' and was originally the computer file name of the thousands of Mujahideen who were recruited and trained with help from the CIA to defeat the Russians."

"Shhhhhhhh. Thats just the preservatives talking."

"But you see, Orwell was right! We are at war with.... wait. 'The preservatives?' What the H are you talking about?"

"A long time ago, beer manufacturers learned that UV rays from the sun caused beer to go bad quicker. It has to do with the crystalline structure of the molecules that make up glass and nucleation sites for carbon dioxide to gather. Don't worry, the first people to learn of this did not understand it either. However, the dark beer bottle was invented. No one knows for sure what came first, dark green or brown, but ask any weeping Indian, there are enough of both laying beside historic Route 66 that it does not matter. What matters is that Miller High Life took the higher path. Instead of doing what was best for the beer, they did what was best for them. They kept the clear bottle and just added a bunch of preservatives to make it seem like the beer was fresher. That clear glass bottle in your hand is a testament to the standard of influence that you allow into your system."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"More studies and research have been poured into the effects of the color of glass on beer, then have been poured into the effects of preservatives on people. Are you sure you are in the right state of mind to make a comment about the Government of the United States of America?"

"Um... yes."

"Good. Just remember, 'Vote or Die!'"