It was a man’s meal - steak, rare, baked potato, and a tall glass of Samuel Adams, drought. I felt like I was the king of England. After 4 more Samuel Adams and a shot of Bombay Sapphire, I bid the bartender goodnight and began my trek back to the hotel. This only helped to increase the sense of masculinity that was overwhelming me. A quarter mile is not long when you are in a Trans Am, but on foot, it is interesting to say the least. Let me explain. A winter storm warning does not mean the same thing in South Dakota as it does in Texas. I was clad in nothing more then my favorite DARE t-shirt and jeans, as I marched through the sleet and snow. It felt great. At this point, I was sure that I could take on the entire army of the Persian empire by myself.

Then I got to thinking. What the hell did I do today? What did I do yesterday? What have I done all week? I’ll tell you. I bullshitted. I bullshitted for up to 14 hours a day. My mind was disengaged, my muscles atrophying, and my soul was in a state of despair.

At times like these, it is hard to justify the existence of the human race.